"I like, don’t even know why I am doing this. I hate biology. I want to move to St. Thomas and be a hippie and you don’t need biology to do that. Whatever. Can I plug my iPhone into your computer?"

— Overheard at Coffee Zone

"There’s an old Irish saying, “If a girl won’t get drunk with you, she won’t have sex with you.” Maybe that’s only true in Ireland, but think about it anyway."

— Overheard at Lab Meeting, given as some advice to someone on a paper.

Not at all traumatizing.

Just Another Week in Ye Olde Columbia

"Well, you know, think of Jimmy Carter - he lusted in his mind, so there you go!"

— Comment from a professor - in some discussion about the distinction between sexual fantasy and behavior. I really can’t remember why we were talking about this, but I was uneasy thinking about Jimmy Carter lusting in his mind. 

"What is it in the Bible, Jesus or God or someone said, ‘I vomit the lukewarm.’ Well, that’s me. I vomit the lukewarm."

— unnamed professor, instructing us on the preferred tone of our papers. 

Tags: mizzou

Love and Marriage

  • Grandma: I mean, they just HAD to get married. They were just so totally in love.
  • Aunt Ginge: That will change.

Red State Date

The perfect gift for that hard-to-buy-for yet politically ranty family member:

I think we could all use this reminder today.

I think we could all use this reminder today.

File under: bizarre AP alerts.

File under: bizarre AP alerts.